Tuesday, March 2, 2010

The Lure of Other Paths

When it's all been said and done
There is just one thing that matters
Did I do my best to live for truth?
Did I live my life for You?

I love being home. I love seeing my family all the time; I love seeing my kids interact with their grandparents. I love being with an amazing church family and so many friends. I love all the options in grocery stores. I love not feeling sweaty all the time. I love being able to sleep at night without fear of armed robbery.

We’ve done a lot of traveling these past few months; all over California. We’ve visited so many homes in many cities. And there are times I feel the pull of this life. Wouldn’t it be nice to live closer to family? Wouldn’t it be nice to live in a small town in the California mountains? Or downtown in a big city? To have my own house? To be able to attend a Bible study for moms?

It does attract me. Long ago, in college, I couldn’t fathom the idea of living in the States. But now that I am married and have kids and have spent a number of years trying to figure out how to live in a third world country, I must say that this life lures me. A couple of weeks ago, as we were on a long drive through the beautiful Northern California mountains, I asked God, “Don’t you want to call us here?” But nope. No call. Not even a smidgen. I couldn’t think of a single reason why God would want us to live there. It was kind of disappointing.

So, I am packing my bags. I am dreading leaving, but I am not dreading going back. Times like this are good, because they make me evaluate and re-evaluate why we are doing what we are doing. Why we would go halfway across the world away from our families and only get to see them every couple of years. Why we would purposely choose a low salary (by American standards only) and be willing to deal with electricity problems and heat and mosquitoes and a culture that we do not understand.

So why is that?

Because it is a perfect fit for us. Because there is a need that we can perfectly fill. And that makes us called.

And thus, I remember

That this life is not all there is. Heaven is yet to come.

That joy comes through sacrifice.

That by losing my life I will save it.

Piper writes, “Missions is gain! Hundredfold gain!”


When it's all been said done
All my treasures will mean nothing
Only what I've done for love's reward
Will stand the test of time

(When It's All Been Said and Done by Don Moen)


Tundra Mom said...

great post, things I have thought a hundred times. Here Lord? This is a nice spot? Nope.

When we come back here and it's -30 and we are bundling up I often think, "here, really Lord?"

and the answer is yes.

so here we are.

May He comfort you and your whole family in the task of leaving and the dreaded goodbyes.

Amanda said...

Another thought-provoking post, Amy! If it helps any, I can attest to the fact that our natural discontentedness can cause us to long for another life no matter if our current path is typical or atypical. A thankful heart that focuses on its many blessings is the only kind that has the wisdom necessary to make decisions as to which path is best. You have alluded to this fact many times, and I know God will continue to give you and Gil wisdom as you follow wherever He leads.

Amy said...

I know what you mean, Amanda. And I definitely am aware that "happiness" is not present in any particular circumstance, no matter how ideal it may seem. I know that life in America is not heaven on earth. :-) I think that our longings (no matter where we live) should always lead us to long for our eternal home, since we never will find a perfect life on earth.