Thursday, March 15, 2012

The Long Goodbye

The position has been filled. 

That's what the email said from our human resources team.

The position.

Gil's position.

Our position.

Has been filled.

I should be happy, I guess.  This is what we have prayed for.  When we told HOPAC that next year would be our last, we prayed that God would bring a replacement soon enough to overlap with us for at least a few months.  And so this new chaplain is scheduled to arrive next January.  Answered prayer.

And I should be happy, I guess, because we read this guy's resume and Gil participated in the Skype interview and we like him.  Also answered prayer.

But instead, I cried when I read it.  Because it forces me to face the reality that in 18 months,

We Are Leaving.

This place that has been all our thoughts and all our prayers and our life and breath and sweat for 10 years, will be over.  And in a few years, it will be a distant memory. 

Hopefully, hopefully, not too distant, because our plan is to join a team in Dar that is training local pastors.  Which would mean that our kids will go to HOPAC and I will be a HOPAC mom who volunteers in the library and is the room mom and brings in treats on Fridays. 

It won't be the same, of course, because right now our whole life is this place and we get to make decisions and give our opinions and build the foundations.  We know the names of almost every student and have watched them grow from 5 to 15. 

But the future looms large and is uncertain.  And I don't like uncertain and I don't like change. 

And I love this school with my very soul. 

But it is time; Gil and I both know it. And so we listen.

6th grade, 2002

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